im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize