The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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