Ambien. No doubt about it.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
