Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
my poor anus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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