Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
