Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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