how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
