Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
