Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
