Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my shit smells like andre
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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