You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
