So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
