If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
