Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
