He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
are you so shy because you have an std?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
