oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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