I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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