I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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