So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
this boner is exhausting
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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