Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
