I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
