Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
