sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
