I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
