I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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