we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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