dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
