I wanna passion pit in your ass
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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