her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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