This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
