We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
