so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
