You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize