I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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