The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
