It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
my being single is dangerous.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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