Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
