woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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