I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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