am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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