just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Randomize
