I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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