I am puke
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
