What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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