If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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