I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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