Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
