That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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