Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
