I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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