So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
