I feel great
I just peed on a car
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
