Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
