What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
