I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
