so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
