I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
