He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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