cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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