nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
