it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
