You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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