We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
