We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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