she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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