so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
