Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
