In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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